About 2 months ago I met a guy (we'll call him Jason) through work and we started emailing about work, then he started adding a few personal comments and now we email constantly, facebook, etc and work is about the last thing we talk about. The day I met him I had a first date with a guy that I ended up dating for a little while so by the time we started emailing I was in the middle of whatever it was with the other guy and in honesty and full disclosure efforts, I told him about the other guy, but we kept emailing. Just as other guy and I broke it off, Jason met another girl who was really aggressive and pretty soon they were dating. We discussed her frequently and how it was unusual for him to have a girl so aggressive when his usual style is much slower and he prefers to get to know girls better up front. From what he was saying I thought she was playing him (turned out, I was right) but he wasn't ready to see that so we kept emailing (we didn't talk about her constantly but she came up) about 2 weeks ago when things with the girl started going south he started asking me about the guy I'd been dating (by then we were long since over) and I told him it was an old story but totally done. He wanted to know if there were any other guys in the mix for me, I told him no. (I'm assuming by "in the mix" he was referring to people I was actually dating not emailing)
Last weekend (Friday) the girl called it off it with him. She met someone else and had been dating them both. (shocker) This made Friday the first day that we were both available and we both knew it. We emailed on FB all day, we IM-ed till 2 am, Sunday we FB emailed again and that brings me to the question here. What do I do next?
The problem:
Since I met him at work I have to be a little more careful that I normally would. (we don't work together, he's a potential client) so technically he needs to initiate anything that does, or doesn't, happen. He is a slow mover and I tend to not be (otherwise this blog wouldn't exist) on the other hand, a slow mover may be just what I need, it has been 2 months of constant, and hundreds, of emails so it really isn't jumping into this either. From his stories of the other girl I think he likes slightly more aggressive girls which once I get to about this point I can do just fine but again, work complicates this.
I'm going to assume that he would not email me so much if he wasn't interested, that would be a major waste of his time. Some of his emails are pretty personal, we talk about anything and everything.
Here's the possible next steps I see:
1- Just keep emailing, he'll do something eventually, right?
2- Find a way to switch to texting (If you think I should do this, I welcome suggestions as to how I'm going to do this) and see if he will take the rest from there.
3- Invite him to do something that I'm already doing, if I was already going, work can't be mad!
4- Just flat out ask him out and ignore the rules. Up till the last girl he went months without going on a date so the aggressive type may not be all bad for him... (I do like my job though)
5- Something else...
What do you think?
2 comments:
I just started reading your blog a recently. And as a fellow single gal I usually adpot the idea that if he interested "enough" he will ask you out. But all guys tend to need a little nudge; maybe one day when you are facebooking say you have to go but you would like to continue the conversation and suggest texting and see what he says. And I think you are right he wouldn't be talking to you that much if he wasn't interested. Whenever I wonder if a guy is doing that to me I remind myself that when a guy that is into me is texting me and I'm not into him I end it or say things like I've been busy or going to bed- and its 9:30 on a weekend! Yep that means I'm not THAT into him. Good luck!
I like Heidi's suggestion about getting him to text you. I think that inviting him someplace you were already going to go would be a good option. That way, like you said, work can't really complain about it right? Good luck!
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