July 24, 2009

First dates 101- what not to do

As was suggested Ryan from the what not to say blog is so smooth he should teach classes. I think I met one of his students (or mentor possibly) and actually went out on the shortest, worst date of my life.

Here are a few things NOT to do on a first date. And yes, he managed to do ALL of them

1- do not be late.
2- when you are late do not expect me to have put us on the waiting list. They have call ahead seating, you picked one of the most popular restaurants on a Friday night because it's your favorite. Plan ahead!
3- Do not tell me I don't know how to do my job.
4- Do not tell me that the economic downturn is all my fault
5- I don't care that you make a six figure income, yes I caught all your references to it.
6- If you want to tell me how much you don't need your job because you make six-figures on your side job. Quit you job that is only wasting your time.

Now most people would have left at this point. Believe me it crossed my mind but I decided he owed me dinner at this point so I stayed and it only went down hill from here.

7- That is nice ALL of your family has a 6 or 7 (or more) figure income. I really don't care to know about them
8- That you think your cousin was lucky to aspire to become a trophy wife, you should keep that to yourself
9- Don't assume no one else can make a six figure income. Don't tell me I never had that so I don't understand what it's like to live in a home with a six figure income. My dad makes "six figures" if we really want to be technical.
10- Just because I quit a previous job does as an office manager does not make me a quitter.
11- Next time you want to rate how you feel about every nationality, don't. Especially when you go through the Polynesians, Asians, Middle Easterners, Europeans, Mexicans and Blacks and I was the minority in my school with exactly those groups and think quite highly of them.
12- You are not so cool that other races belong doing whatever you say because you are "the superior race"
13- you are 31 and in real estate. The military isn't begging you to join. Neither is the FBI. I am a military kid, I know a thing or two about it.
14- When you date tells the waiter you are leaving soon that is not a good sign. specially since you just got seated.
15- Do not tell me how dumb your previous girl friends were for not understanding their role was to allow you to make a six figure income. Its a first date, not the time to mention them anyway.
16- Don't tell me I'm an idiot and then try to touch me. Yes I glared at you and your hand for a reason.
17- When walking back to my car and I keep stepping away from you and end up walking us in a giant half circle, that does not mean I want you to stand closer to me.
18- When I tell you bye after only and hour and a half and then continue to walk another half way across the parking lot just a couple of rows over, that is not a good sign that you should contact me.
19- When you do contact me after, don't accuse me of anything.
20- For that matter, I still don't know why contacted me at all anyway after that.

I highly recommend no one else try doing all of these things on a first date or any other date. EVER!!

Officially My WORST. DATE. EVER.

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